Wednesday, 7 October 2009

Ninja Genital Apocalypse.....

Nope, not the latest movie from Michael Bay, but a recurring theme that seems to run through a remarkable amount of my posts. After reading through some of them, I have noticed I can’t seem to help but slip in some of the above aforementioned words in most of my blogs. What that says about me I don’t know, nor would I particularly want to find out either.

But ninjas are cool though.

Well it seems as though my little blog is over a month old now. And as I take a glance to my right, I can see that somehow I have managed to lure at least 31 of you into my world. 31 of you have decided to sign up and slavishly follow my every word, to sit rapt by your computer screen, just waiting for my next posting, wondering what fresh musing will plop from my luminous mind…….

That is what the egotistical side of me is thinking. In reality, I am mature and stable enough to know otherwise. (But you do love me though, right? This isn’t just some one night stand, is it?) But either way, to have this amount of readers/followers is something I would never have conceived happening in just one month, and I won’t lie and say that doesn’t make me deliriously happy, because it does, it makes me dangerously happy. So to anyone who has decided to stick around, thank you. And I truly mean that.

But what you don’t know is that I have been placing subliminal messages in between my posts, and at one point, when I type the trigger word, all of you will become my mindless zombie slave army, just waiting to do my bidding. It will be small stuff first of all. Things like fetch me doughnuts and play with my toes. But when there is enough of you, I will send you out into the world like the flying monkeys from the Wizard Of Oz. Fly my pretties! Fly!

But I digress……..

Actually having people follow your blog does place a slight bit of pressure on your shoulders. You start to scrutinise every piece that you write before you send it out into the public domain, like they are your tiny children and you only want the best for them. You start to question yourself all the time. Is that interesting? Does that make sense? Where did that Filipino man come from, and why am I naked?

I know this is pressure of my own making, and I know that once you start to get readers (that still sounds a strange thing to write), every person with a blog probably feels exactly the same way at some point, but I still feel some sense of responsibility to justify making someone click on that follow button. Don’t get me wrong, I am enjoying this, I really am. My girlfriend suggested I start a blog as a reason for me to keep writing, to do something I love. And it has been great, just thinking of something to write and then seeing if there is a response to that piece. I have enjoyed every minute of it. But now I feel as though I am starting to fall into the trap that others have posted about before. When more people end up reading it, the more you want to write interesting and worthwhile things.

I didn’t really expect to get many readers; I thought maybe I’d get one or two as I didn’t really know how to go about getting my blog out there. So to begin with, it was mainly just for me. But when I started, the best bit I found about the whole process was finding all these other people and the blogs that they had. And the thing is, I really do enjoy waiting for the next postings from them, as every single one is so different and unique in its own right. So in some small way, that makes me feel better about my own blog and the more readers that I get. Nobody is really expecting anything from me (and God help you if you were), but are still more than happy to hang around and see what happens next. So if all of you don’t expect anything from me, I am more than happy to fulfil that role for you all quite admirably.

And yet I still can’t shake that small feeling of responsibility. So what I intend to do from this moment on is make my next postings at least 46% more interesting than before. I will choose an explosive first word that will have you instantly captivated and unable to leave your pc until the last sentence has been uttered. Instead of being a low budget indie film, with long takes and pregnant pauses, this blog is now going into the realms of a Hollywood blockbuster, all shiny lights and Megan Fox, with a James Cameron script on a Spielberg budget……..

Or I can just poodle along as I am?

I think I will do that. Sounds a bit less…..hectic?

So to all of you lovely 31 folk who have decided to keep on reading, it’s been a pleasure. And apologies for going all Woody Allen, I’m never any good with an audience. (Cue orgy joke right….about….now)

I was also recently given two lovely, shiny, awards from Matthew and Ladytruth. So a massive thank you to both for each of them. I intend to store them for awhile and then pass them on once I have familiarised myself with a few more new blogs of note, of which there are far to many to keep up with at the moment, but I am having fun trying. So thank you very, very, much!

Things I Learnt Last Month:

1)This man is very, very, funny.

2) It is not socially acceptable to go to a puppy party and to be more excited than the puppies.

3) Trying to review the news for a job application is harder than it sounds.

4) No matter how much of a Mod fashion statement they are, cardigans will never look good on me.

5) Vodka chilli spaghetti is nice.


ladytruth said...

Ah yes, I can really associate with this post. Except the bit about the smartly written Manchurian Candidate cues. Need to work on that one straight away so we can compare slaves.

ladytruth said...

And if you want to display the award on your blog (where it belongs!) you can just right click on the image, copy it to your desktop or any other folder, go to your blog's Layout function, select Gadget, select Picture, click the 'add picture from your computer' function and voila! At least, that's how I usually do mine. Hope it helps :)

JenJen said...

I'm just here for the sex.

Dan. said...

Ladytruth- Thank you for the advice. As you can see, worked a treat! As for the zombie slave army, you'd probably use it for world domination. I'd just be happy for somebody else to do my housework.

JenJen- I wish you all the best in that. Hows that working out for you so far?

JenJen said...

Other than a visit to the tub, not so well. Damn.

hope said...

As you are the only soul on the planet who offered me ninja assistance with my employment problem, I'm not going anywhere. :)

Besides, you have the most heart warming and funny "Hello" I've read on ANY blog. And you noticed my hair. Thank you.

The only rule for blogging: write what you feel. If you start editing yourself or planning out themes, the fun disappears. I look forward to many more "Dan" moments. :)

Anonymous said...

I always feel I'm late to your party. Damn 10 hour time difference.

I know where you're coming from. Just post when you have something to say and we'll all be happy.

Lorenza said...

Well Dan, I like your posts because , like I say "you write with your tummy" so it is spontaneous and natural. And Funny. When I started my blog I thought I would link with "cancer survivors" (I hate this expression, sorry) but I haven't because I just feel at my place reading blogs like yours and I am too busy LIVING than thinking sorrow. And when you write that you follow our blogs, I hope you are not Pinocchio!
Joking apart, I ll pass on the lovely award you gave me as soon as I find another Lovely blog. Thanks for boostering my self confidence.


Dan. said...

Hope- I like that. "Dan moments". Sounds like I am having a funny turn or something? And I hope you took up my suggestion to visit, a very cheap and reliable service there.

Matthew- Think of it as being fashionably late, but always welcome. And have you read many of my blogs? I never have anything to say, but I try to say it well.

Lorenza- No Pinocchio here (was always scared at the whale part as a child) and I can always see from your blog that you are always busy and enjoying life. And that’s a wonderful thing to read.

Susan at Stony River said...

Funny, I just posted about lesbian ninjas v. Klingons. Meanwhile I'm raising children to be Blues Brothers fans while my husband's raising them to follow West Ham.

So... looks like I'm in that Collection Box in your sidebar now. Hey howdy!

Dan. said...

Susan- Its very nice to have you here. And are you sure your husband wants to be inflicting such torment on your children? Plus lesbian ninjas v Klingons- where do I sign up?

Alice in Wonderland said...

Hi Dan, I followed you here simply because you are a Blues Brothers Fan AND English! Now I'm not a stalker, but I was looking around for other people from England to write to. I LOVE all of my blogger fans, but the time zones really get to me, and I can prove that I am 85% addicted to blogging! I'm often up almost all night catching up with people, so it is a nice change for me to have someone in my own time zone!
This blogoshere is just brilliant!
Iguess you have got yourself another follower!
Check out my blog:
Hope to chat more with you, and thank you for commenting on my hair! I have just had it done!

Dan. said...

Alice in Wonderland- Hi Alice, thank you for sticking around. The Blues Brothers do indeed rule, and so does being English as well. (Though there is a lot of Irish rattling round in me as well)

Feel free to stop by whenever you want.