Tuesday, 6 October 2009

Dan-Curriculum Vitae.

Name: Dan.

Age: 31

Occupation: Occupied.

Top Five Favourite Films:

1) Jaws.

2) An American Werewolf In London.

3) The Blues Brothers.

4) Ghostbusters.

5) 28 Days Later.

Top Five Favourite Songs:

1) The Great Skua- British Sea Power.

2) History- The Verve.

3) Sharpen Up The Knives- Puressence.

4) Nobody But Me- The Human Beinz.

5) Comforting Sounds- Mew.

Top Five Top Five Lists:

1) Top Five Smells.

2) Top Five Things To Do With Whipped Cream.

3) Top Five Beards.

4) Top Five Numbers.

5) Top Five Ways To Pass Out.

Likes:

Cheese.

Tastes nice. Good with crackers.

Snow.

Makes everything look pretty.

Animals.

Cute. Furry. You can stroke some.

Dislikes:

People.

They are mostly out to annoy me. Can’t stroke them. Not without police getting involved.

Tuna.

Food of the Devil. Don't like the way it moves. Or smells.

Cruelty To Animals.

Wrong on every conceivable level.

Fears:

Tidal Waves.

Not like the horrific tsunami that took place in Samoa, or on the 26th December 2004. But huge mile high bodies of water, towering over you, blocking out the sun. All stemmed from watching the film Meteor with Sean Connery when I was a kid. Freaks me out. Didn’t like Deep Impact or The Day After Tomorrow. Too many tidal waves.

Water.

See above. Can’t swim. I can doggy paddle, but that makes me look very stupid. Very hard to doggy paddle and look manly. Had the indignity of having my girlfriend trying to teach me to swim on our last holiday. Impossible to make rubber arm bands look sexy.

Women With Gold Handbags And Matching Shoes.

This also freaks me out. Don’t know why?

Things I would Like To Happen To Me:

: Have someone run to meet me at an airport after I had been away for a long time.

: Have my girlfriend believe me when I say I think she is beautiful.

: To own an Alaskan Malamute dog.

Things I wouldn’t Like To Happen To Me:

: To be stuck in a lift with Sharon Osbourne. Only one of us would get out.

: To loose my hearing.

: To suddenly be handed a big tarantula.

If you feel the above makes me suitable for anything, please feel free to post your comments.

20 comments:

hope said...

THANK YOU! You may be the only other person on the planet besides me who feels tuna is not an acceptable food source. Might explain why I don't like cats...they like tuna.

And to this day, the thought of a wave towering in a curl above my head, ready to break, makes me break into a cold sweat. Rather than fire and brimstone, I think Hell is never ending, head crashing, you-don't-swim-very-well-do-you-girl? waves.

Another interesting post...another reason to laugh out loud. WITH you silly, not at you. I don't want to be proclaimed one of the annoying. And no, I don't own a gold anything. ;)

daisy said...

You forgot to mention how you have a Phd in Jive. I think this makes you very employable.

Ha.

x

AlpHa Buttonpusher said...

Hmm this looks fun. Let me try:

Name: Andrea

Age: 23

Occupation: Under construction.

Top Five Favourite Films:

Can't answer that, it wouldn't be fair to name just five.

Top Five Favourite Songs (random pickings of the moment, not all time favs):

1) Wrong - Depeche Mode.

2) The Fixer - Pearl Jam.

3) Pull my heart away - Jack Penate.

4) Rockferry - Duffy.

5) Fun house - Pink.

Top Five Top Five Lists:

1) Top Five Favourite Things.

2) Top Five Dog Breads.

3) Top Five Pies.

4) Top Five People.

5) Top Five Positions.

Likes:

To laugh.

Hey who doesn't?!

Sweets.

- They make the world a better place.

Animals.

- Cute. Furry. You can stroke them all lol.

Old stuff.

- Just because.

Dislikes:

Lying bastards.

- Pretty much self-explanatory.

Tooth paste in her eye.

- Been there , done that.

Any kind of cruelty.

- That I didn't authorise lol.

Fears:

- Fearless lol . Although I can relate to any fear that relates to deep water but I'm not afraid or anything. *as long as I'm standing safely on the shore*

Things I would Like To Happen To Me:

- Decently long - eventfull - happy - life - shared with the people I love - doing the things I enjoy. (I love your choices btw.)

Things I wouldn’t Like To Happen To Me:

- Pretty much the opposite of what I do want. I'm easy to please lol.

P.S. I think that it never took me this much time to write a comment. Whew..finally it's over lol.

P.P.S. Loved the link you left me for that song. I agree, it is the best version.

Lorenza said...

I also fear water, cannot swim properly and if I have a nightmare there is water involved. My theory of past lives comes back...I think I was drinking a cup of champagne, dancing with my lover, when the Titanic hit the iceberg...Lovely to have you back, Dan

Lorenza

Long dark hair, blue eyes said...

it is not impossible to make rubber armband look sexy - you just need to try harder.

I hear you on the cheese thing - Cheese rules.

Dan. said...

Hope- Tuna is evil, isn't it? It wobbles in a most distrustful way. And it’s not gold items per say that freak me out, just the combination of those two things. I'm weird.

Daisy- I forgot about that. Thank you for reminding me. X

Alpha- Cool CV. I think that makes you suitable for a dictator or something? And I had to link that song when I saw your post. Great version.

Lorenza- Titanic huh? Maybe that’s where my fear comes from as well? Either that or the fact that I don't float.

Long dark hair, blue eyes- Things men can't make look sexy:
1) Armbands
2) Clogs
3) Dungarees
4) Braids
5) Nipple tassels

And cheese does indeed rock.

JenJen said...

I can't swim.
I'd love to read your list of things to do with whipped cream.

Lorenza said...

What are you made of Dan? The Archimede's law should work with you as well...

Dan. said...

Jen- Its all dessert based, don't worry.

Lorenza- Last time I checked, about 96% bullshit.

AlpHa Buttonpusher said...

Is it because the unauthorised cruelty? lol If so, where do I sign :P

ladytruth said...

Wow, you have 5 ways of passing out? Now that is true talent right there. And the bit about your girlfriend believing you when you tell her she's beautiful? That little tremble you felt going through the apartment was the collective 'awwwwwwwwwws' all the ladies gave to acknowledge the sweetness in you. ;)

Loved this post, witty and smart as always

Dan. said...

Alpha- I fully expect you to be invading Poland by winter.

Ladytruth- She is now going to read that and go "Sweet? What about all the times when your being a dickhead?" And I probably won’t be able to answer her.

JenJen said...

Oh fine. Dessert it is. Or is it desert? No, 2 es's is sweet stuff, right?
Webster?
My husband tells me I look good and I whack him one realquick because he makes me laugh when he says it.
Husbands!

Eileen said...

Have to agree with Ladytruth- the beautiful thing is kind of adorable. Your girlfriend is a lucky, lucky lady ;)

-Miss Sinema

Dan. said...

JenJen- You hit him because he says you look good? Or because you laugh?

Eileen- As I replied to Ladytruth's comment, she will be laughing her socks off at that, its normally the other way round.

Eva Gallant said...

Thanks for making me laugh out loud! That was a great post! I loved The Blues Brothers and Ghostbusters, too!

Dan. said...

Eva- Thanks Eva, nice to see my tastes are in good company as well!

jules said...

Oh I love a good list! And yours made me laugh! You wouldn't like to be in my dreamland lately. I keep having tidal wave nightmares. I feel that could mean i'm on the edge of crisis or something. The odd thing is, I love the water, but I too only know how to doggie paddle. It's NOT sexy.

Midnitefyrfly said...

HAHA HA! This is good enough to start circulating as the next myspace, facebook, email (do people still email?), chain letter... where you fill it out and send it it to all of your friends or tag them and they have to do the same. I HAVE to know the top 5 top 5 lists of all my friends!

So what are your top 5 beards anyways?

Dan. said...

Jules- Never analyse your dreams. Can give you some very freaky answers. And glad you agree. Doggy paddling is not sexy at all!

Midnitefyrfly-

1) Beatnik
2) Grizzly Adams
3) Devil
4) Jesus
5) Porn star