Wednesday, 2 September 2009

Public Enemy Number One.

By now probably nearly everyone in the UK has seen him in some form. Arms held aloft in Trafalgar Square, surrounded by like minded chums, and screeching Bonnie Tyler's Total Eclipse Of The Heart down the phone to someone.

And for some strange reason, this rather unfortunate person has suddenly had the collective hate of an entire nation dumped on him like two tons of steaming elephant diarrhea, Everyone seems to have some form of comment to make about him and this advert. And none of it is very pleasant. In fact most of it revolves around the best form of physical harm you could do to him with a set of pliers, some skipping rope, and about 15 minutes of spare time.

Search Facebook and you will find numerous groups set up for the UK's new hero. Groups like: I hate the kid off the T-mobile Advert. I hate that cock off the T-mobile advert. I really want to punch that twat off the T-mobile advert. I would love to push out the eyes of the T-mobile kid and piss in his eye cavities (I may have made that last one up)

So what is it about this bloke that gets our collective backs up? What is it about his floppy fringed, gurning face, that sets the blood pressure rising, and the left leg twitching with an urge to put it through your plasma?

Perhaps its his age? For people of a certain age group, no one likes to see anybody young enjoying themselves. It reminds them to much of their own mortality, of their mortgage, their wife/husband, their mewling children, the bills, being skint, death looming over your shoulder, so having this all pressing down on you and to then be suddenly confronted by this care free youth, free to sing badly at the top of his voice and wear stupid clothes, possessing hair that you could only dream about, well, it would kind of make you a bit tetchy.

But for the rest of us? Well, that's quite simple. Just look at him. LOOK AT HIM! The guy is a simpering shell of a human being! He doesn't care. He's in Trafalgar Square, he's singing his heart out to a camp classic, he's got his posse of bitches around him. He be freestyling motherfunker.

Just pity the poor sod that he is on the phone to. Imagine that? After a hard days work, you sit yourself down on your sofa, your mobile rings and you have him wailing away on the other end. Its enough to make you contemplate that bottle of whiskey and the jar of sleeping pills you have in your medicine cabinet.

Bottom line is, he looks like he is having fun while the rest of us are clearly not in on the action. And whether the guy is an actor, or was just clearly caught up in the "moment", the guy is now left to suffer an eternity of being "that twat off the advert"


No one should be allowed to look like they are enjoying themselves that much and get away with it.

But worse of all, off the back of this advert, Bonnie Tyler has now decided to re-release Total Eclipse for the umpteenth time. For that there is no excuse. People must die.

If you want to check out the best version of this song, have a look at this.

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