Thursday, 3 September 2009
Modern Life Is Indeed Rubbish.
Whether it is a symptom of getting older, or maybe the fact that the world seems to be filling up with more incompetent people, but I seem to find myself nowadays becoming more and more irritated by things that wouldn't normally have bothered me, say, ten years ago?
But it's not just me that seems to be affected by this malaise. Take a look around you the next time you walk down your high street. Everyone is pissed off. From that chavy looking bloke having a very public argument with his girlfriend on his mobile (She meant nothing Karen, I facken loves yer!) to young mothers seemingly happy to start belting their offspring around the pasta and rice aisle of Tesco's, all because their kids were ripped off their tits on E numbers from eating blue Smarties. We are all at it. Every traffic jam has people screaming out their windows at the cars in front to move, when they have about as much manoeuvrability as a fat man in spandex. It's all around us. Beetroot red faces and raised voices. Couples sitting in stony silence in a restaurant because of some row. Everyone rushing around in their own little worlds, all concerned about their own little bubble of existence, and to hell with everybody else.
Perhaps it is an indication of the society that we live in that we are so wrapped up in the "now", in the fact that we are used to having everything we desire instantly downloaded directly to our brains: thoughts, ideas, images, that the moment reality actually invades our worlds, all those inconveniences, all those sudden mishaps and strife that make up life, we are actually unable to deal with them. Everything should be delivered pre-packaged and shiny, when we want it, right now. The moment it doesn't, the moment that something goes wrong and we are denied, well, that freaks us out and we start behaving like toddlers.
That certainly is quite a chin strokey theory that I have just come up with there (and I'm mentally high fiving myself for creating it) but I actually have a much better theory. One that sits much better with my sunny outlook.
The world is mainly populated by complete fucking idiots.
Now let me just leave that out there for a moment. Let it just sit there and gain some admiring glances like a freshly crowned prom queen.
The world is populated by complete fucking idiots and they all want to annoy me. They flock to me like moths to a flame, buzzing round my head and all making a high pitched "eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" noise until I feel like grabbing the nearest one and toe punting the bastard through a plate glass window.
The people in the busy street, who suddenly decide to stop right in front of me, gaze around with a look of almost divine wonder in their gormless faces, like they have never been outside before, heedless of the fact there is a bloke behind them almost apocalyptic with rage. Couple that with the other kind of streetwalker, the "I've got no where to go, and Goddamn I'm gonna go there slowly" brigade, who clearly make me wish for an electric cattle prod for my next birthday.
But its not just individual idiots that we (I) have to contend with as well. There is also the large, faceless cooperation's to deal with. Large firms that seem to be massive holding pens for idiots. Huge grey buildings where they are shepherded in with huge nets during the morning like cattle. Where idiots simply gather to keep warm under the pretence of "work"
Quite recently I have had a month long drama with a rather large computer company. I won't name them, but their name rhymes with Bell, and their customer service rhymes with fucking abysmal. For weeks I had to endure phone call after phone call with various different people, all with various different levels of stupidity. Ranging from Level 1: having to repeat my problem at least four times before it was understood (You have sent me the wrong thing), to Level 5: not knowing if the person on the phone could talk and breathe at the same time for fear of having an embolism at that too complex a task.
At least if someone annoys you in the street you can say something back. With these cooperation's, the moment that you are faced with idiocy of almost Biblical proportions and something goes wrong, the moment you try and resolve it or complain, the shutters come down and you are left out in the pissing rain like a leper at a wedding.
As a species we are fundamentally screwed. If this level of incompetence continues at this rate, by the year 2123, we will be reduced to looking back to old episodes of Big Brother and marvel at the in-depth psychological discussions that took place, while we try and feed ourselves by eating our own shoes.
It will happen.